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REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) teaches you that it’s not events themselves that cause stress, but the way you think about them. By turning your irrational thoughts into rational beliefs, you regain control over your emotions and behavior. At GORTcoaching, we use the REBT method to effectively break through limiting patterns.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- The premise of REBT: It’s all in your head
- We think ourselves into stress
- The 5 criteria of a healthy thought
- The ABC scheme: Uncovering your thought patterns
- Practical example: The transformation
- The role of coaching in behavioral change
THE PREMISE OF REBT: IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD
It’s not events themselves that make people afraid, angry, or frustrated. It’s the way we look at those events and how we experience them in our minds. The central premise of REBT is simple but powerful: what you feel and do is determined more by your thoughts than by the actual situation. So it’s more important to know how you view a situation than how the situation actually is.
WE THINK OURSELVES INTO STRESS
Our reactions are determined by our thoughts. Whatever happens, we form a judgment about it and experience a certain feeling as a result. The more extreme your thoughts, the more intense your emotions will be. This directly influences your behavior: if you strongly disagree with something, you’ll react more fiercely than when the issue doesn’t matter much to you.
If the situation alone determined our stress, everyone would react exactly the same way in the same circumstances. Yet one person becomes furious in a traffic jam, while another calmly listens to a podcast. The stress, then, doesn’t lie in the traffic jam itself, but in the meaning you give it.
THE 5 CRITERIA OF A HEALTHY THOUGHT
How do you know if a thought is irrational? Within REBT, we often use five criteria to test whether your thoughts help you or work against you. A healthy, rational thought meets these points:
- Is it based on facts? (Not on assumptions or “what if” scenarios.)
- Does it help you achieve your goal? (Irrational thoughts often block your action.)
- Does it protect your life or your health? (Stress drains energy and is unhealthy.)
- Does it prevent unwanted conflicts with others?
- Does it help you feel the way you want to feel?
THE ABC SCHEME: UNCOVERING YOUR THOUGHT PATTERNS
Uncovering your own specific thought patterns follows a simple but effective scheme:
- A – Activating Event: The actual situation or event (e.g., a negative review).
- B – Beliefs: Your ideas and thoughts about that situation (e.g., “I am a failure”).
- C – Consequence: The consequence; the feeling (sadness) and behavior (withdrawal).
In this scheme, you learn to identify the ‘B’s. Once you recognize the irrational part, you can move on to D (Dispute): challenging that thought with your coach.
PRACTICAL EXAMPLE: THE TRANSFORMATION
| Situation (A) | Irrational Thought (B) | Consequence (C) | Rational Alternative (New B) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Presentation for management. | “I’m not allowed to make mistakes, or they’ll think I’m incompetent.” | Extreme nerves, stumbling while speaking. | “I’ve prepared well. A small mistake is human and doesn’t diminish my worth.” |
| Missing a deadline. | “This is a disaster, I’m not fit for this job.” | Paralysis from stress, procrastination. | “It’s unfortunate, but I’m going to communicate about the new timeline now.” |
THE ROLE OF COACHING IN BEHAVIORAL CHANGE
Such thought patterns are often ingrained over years and have become automatic habits. It’s difficult to break them on your own because you often can’t see your own “blind spots.” Through coaching, you learn to recognize these irrational B’s and change them into more rational thoughts that create less tension and help you be more effective in your behavior.
Curious how REBT can help you find more calm and effectiveness in your work or personal life? At GORTcoaching, we work with experienced coaches who specialize in reshaping limiting beliefs.
Sources used
- David, D., Lynn, S. J., & Ellis, A. (2010). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT): A foundational overview. The Oxford Handbook of Rational and Cognitive Behavioral Therapies. https://scholars.mssm.edu/en/publications/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
- DiGiuseppe, R., Leaf, R., Exner, T., & Robin, M. W. (1988). The relationship between irrational beliefs and anxiety disorders. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 6(2), 109–124. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01061227
- King, A. M., Plateau, C. R., Turner, M. J., Young, P., & Barker, J. B. (2024). A systematic review of the nature and efficacy of rational emotive behaviour therapy interventions. PLoS ONE, 19(7), e0306835. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0306835
